I just recently started classes at a large university. There is this guy in my English class who sits all the way up front opposite of me, and I sit all the way in the back of the room, so I have kind of a good view of him, and vice versa. For the last week or so, perhaps it was my imagination, but I believe he’s been looking in my direction as of late, several times during class, but they’re never obvious, he never STARES; they’re always subtle glances in my direction.Our eyes have actually met, but the gazes don’t hold for long, because as soon as his eyes set on mine, I turn away quickly.
I’m quite shy. But, yesterday, however, it was a little different.I felt that I had been staring at him too much and he had noticed. I was trying to see if my mind was playing tricks on me or not. But, during class, he kept shifting in his seat. Occasionally, he would lean with his shoulder pointed toward me, and most of all, he kept running his hands through his hair during class – many times.Now, before, he was usually one of the first to leave when class was over, but lately he’s been the last. Yesterday this was the case. I thought for a moment that, out the corner of my eye, as I was walking out the classroom door, that as he was packing his stuff, he was looking at me.
And not only that – but as I was walking across the street – this is where I wish I had kept my glasses on – it looked like it was his figure walking across the street also, but ways away from me.He obviously went out the other side of the building, because he wasn’t behind me when I left out, and I was gazing across the street out of curiosity to see if that was him or not. Maybe I was seeing things, but I saw his hand go up, and I thought he waved at me.I’ve yet to approach this guy. Neither has he approached me. It seems he might be as shy as I am. and I’m afraid of rejection, because so far in my love life, if it can be called that, I’ve only been rejected and disappointed.
Nothing ever worked out, and I’m not expecting anything different.
However, every time I try, I always hope it will change, and I feel that if I don’t try anything with anyone, nothing else will bring someone my way.
So it seems I have only myself, instead of fate, destiny, God…to depend on to get anywhere with love.This glancing between me and this guy, has been going on since the beginning of the semester, for almost three weeks now. And, now that I’ve chosen to believe that he actually DID wave at me, that it was HIM waving AT ME – I therefore have given myself no choice but to reciprocate. I know that when a guy constantly preens, like running his hands through his hair, that it means he’s nervous about his appearance and might be attracted to a female.I also have to keep reminding myself to think of him first as a friend only, that I barely know him and can’t think of him romantically before I know what I’m dealing with. The fact that I was so nervous yesterday with him, thinking that he thought I was being creepy staring at him – I felt it would be harder to approach him, in that case.
I have to hold off any hyperactive imagination, every picture of romance with this guy, that jumps into my head.It’s been a habit of mine since I first started looking at boys, to see someone, find them attractive, and tell myself they’ll be mine.
I’ve also been given to understand that it was probably my subconscious telling me to change up my approach and take it slower this time, since it’s only the first couple weeks of the college semester; and, not only that, but also to see if this person is someone I want to deal with, romantically or as a friend.(Note: I’ve just recently been disappointed by another guy, but it was nothing I did wrong. He just didn’t have ample experience in the dating world and didn’t have the balls to admit that he was shy or nervous about it, and now, apparently, it’s eating his conscience that he knows he did wrong by never calling me when he said he would.)But my question is: do you think this guy in my English class is attracted to me?