Hi Coach,My situation involves this young lady early to mid 20’s that, who’s in a very serious relationship, I’ve known for about 1.5 years. She works at a financial institute where I go to conduct my transactions. In the beginning, when we first met she was very normal to me. Some people might say looks cute with a very nice body. She and I are from the same culture and religion.After a while we began to converse, she like to talk, we established a rapport and eventually became friends on facebook. Her other co-worker at that time was also a friend of mine on facebook.
One day the co-worker of hers acted unprofessional and I went and complained to the manager about her and for some reason the manager that I was complaining about the other friend as well, and that’s why they both ended up deleting and blocking me from their facebook.Later in the future the co-worker was fired for other reasons not pertinent to me.
Meanwhile me and the young lady maintained our normal conversations and many times I see other clients waiting in line and out of courtesy make it look like I am ready to leave and she still continuous to talk to me. The day before she went on her trip she and I kind of flirted saying things like, I’m going to find you a wife while I’m over there how do you want her, and I said I want her from where you are originally from she placed her hand over her heart and leaned back in awe and I want her the same age as you, she placed her hand over her heart and leaned back in awe once again, then she asked do I want her as pretty as her or prettier, this is where I looked at her with my eyebrows raised and we stopped.
The day she was coming back to work I decided to send her a vase of roses with a very generic note saying something like welcome back, I know it’s not a good feeling to come back to work the day after vacation so deal with it.
Later on that day I needed to go there and she assisted me but her behavior was a little on the cold side and I asked how was your trip and right away she said there are alot of our culture there so if you want to marry some one you should go over there and I playfully smiled raised my arms and said I’m not caring for any marriages right now and she giggled and smiled.I became very good friends with her other worker a male and we started hanging out. One time she saw on his facebook profile that we were hanging out and the next day at work she asked him and said are you guys gay? My response to that when he told me I said the next time we go out we are going to put the names of the girls we know as if they came out with us and so we did. The following day at work she asked him if the girls were all over me, if they fought for me and why, etc.He said that since she has so many questions she should hang out with us next time and see for herself, her reaction was with paranoia and she said
I can’t I can’t I’m in a very serious relationship. One time she asked if I knew anyone that has experience in retail and that their company was hiring, she asked why don’t I work there and I said that it’s not my kind of work.One day I joked around about closing my accounts and she asked just the business account? and I said both personal and business and she backed from her counter with her hand on her hip and loudly said why, why? Are you serious? The disappointment on her face was priceless and then I said just kidding. There was a time when I didn’t show up for a month and she would ask our buddy of my where about.One time I disappeared for about two months and she asked our buddy what happened to me. One time he told her that I was going in on Wednesday which was her day off at that time and she replied with an attitude and shaking her shoulders saying why?
because I’m not here well I’m off anyways?
The next day he told her that I didn’t show up and that I haven’t been there since the last time we spoke and she didn’t say a word.While I was gone for about two months I had a local bagel coffee shop deliver bagels and mochas, one being a special flavor she likes which I gave her before, and they told her that this drink is specifically for her and she was like really? When our buddy showed up for his shift, she told him that I brought them the stuff and when he came back from checking it out he said I want to try that drink, her response was very aggressive saying: don’t touch that, don’t touch that, that’s mine.One day she grabbed his cell phone and saw the text he and I sent to each other and she saw that I had called their ex co-worker female, she was like why is he calling her, tell him that she has a boyfriend. The next day that ex co-worker went to their work place and the first thing the young lady said asked her was did he call you? did he call you?
He brought me flowers, he brought the entire office starbucks, he apologized to me.Every time we converse and I say something that attracts her I try to look for the body language and this is what I see: Her head tilts to the side and looks at me from the corner of her eyes, She fiddles with an object, in this case a key cahin, while talking to me, when she wants to make a compliment about the way I’m dressed up she leaves to the end right before I leave and looks down while she’s saying it.Having said all that, One time her manager told her that she thinks that I have feelings for her but we never discussed it. And not to long ago I brought it up and she was like don’t make a big story out of it, ,dont make it a big deal, I took it as don’t mention it to the manager or any one else so that it doesn’t spread and somehow her man find out.
I reassured her that I’m not an idiot and that I’m not going to confront the manager. I was trying to make a point by showing her that the manager was right about my feelings. I haven’t seen her in two weeks and today our buddy who transferred to another location went to that old place and he stopped by my location first where I was not available at that time.He told me that he would be at that place.
I call him to let him know I’m back at my place and asked him of his where about and he said that he had to go drop something off, my feeling was that they went together to and ice cream shop and sure enough I found out they did, then I saw them standing outside the workplace talking while she was eating her ice cream and she kept looking my way of the workplace, they don’t see me and I was wondering if she was looking to see If I was going to see them and she would go back inside if I was or she was hoping for me to spot them and join them. I wasn’t to sure.So this is my long short story of my situation and I want to know if she is attracted to me, which I feel she is and if she has feelings towards me but is lost or uncertain due to her serious relationship with someone else. Also, what my next step should be and how I should go about it. Many thanks in advance for your time, effort and assistance. I am looking forward to your reply.