One of the worst traps a man can get into is the “Friend Trap”. Most men are likely to have experienced this before: You care for her, you listen to her problems, you give her good advice at all times, and you always help her. But just when you tell her that you love her madly, she squirms and says:  “Oh, I think it would be better to remain good friends: a romantic relationship would only destroy everything”. She turns around and goes back to that nasty guy who has been mistreating her for months and whom she has just been complaining about for hours.

What has happened here?

Of course, you think that you have done everything right: you have been friendly, attentive, made incredible efforts, but in the end she finds the guy attractive who doesn’t treat her at all as a good guy “should”. The basic problem here is that you are simply a nice guy. You have done exactly what the media, your mother, all your friends and even all women (!) suggest as the working recipe when dealing with women. But this is precisely the worst thing you could do. Not just something that is “somewhat wrong”, but the absolute worst!

What works then?

How can I, as a man, get her to find me attractive? This is actually not that hard to achieve, you just have to get over the conditions imposed by your environment and learn what really works: a woman wants to feel feminine, and she is doing exactly this when she is facing a man who:

  1. shows a manly behavior and is not just nice and attentive and
  2. rouses emotions in her that make her feel like a woman.

I have already written quite a bit about both points here, but I think that some very specific tips can still be given:

  • We do not hide that we find her attractive. It is very uncomfortable for her to have a “nice” man in her life who adores her secretly and suddenly shows up at her door with 20 red roses and a confession of his profound love. She finds that almost creepy, but at least just pathetic: Why wasn’t he man enough to show her that he finds her attractive? Why has he been hiding all the time what he really wants? And really: Why should she suddenly respond to a confession of someone’s love that came out of the blue? This behavior turns out to be something incredibly unattractive – in 99.99% of all cases.
  • We show very clearly that we find her attractive. We can tell her or indicate it by means of looks, hints, behavior etc. But our aim is not just to show her how great we think she is. Quite the contrary. The less we depend on absolutely having to get her, the more likely it will work out as we want.
  • We are the way all women want us to be, and most times they even tell us so: We are ourselves! We do not disguise ourselves, not for her, not for other people.

If you stick to these three points, you will automatically at least double your success with women.